I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about this day for weeks and months of my life.
On the roughest days of the 16-month deployment.
Right after the mid-deployment miscarriage.
On the days this sacred, special military life felt more brutal than beautiful.
If I can just be honest, in the thick of hard, 20 years can feel so viciously long.
But then you wake up one day beside the same servant-hearted soldier who lovingly lured you into this “one big free vacation with a side of adult prom” and, as you watch him don dress blues for the very last time, mourn as you wonder where on earth this lifetime of unforgettable military memories went.
Because in an instant, in one ceremony, this life braided with difficulty and delight alike comes to an end, and you find yourself simultaneously overcome with both overwhelming joy and profound grief as you recognize that this military life beside that selfless military man was perhaps the greatest honor and privilege of your life.
And retirement from this beautiful world suddenly becomes just as tough as the 20 years it took to get to the ceremony.
Last week, amid a pandemic and in the midst of an election week (because we love drama up in this here house), a handful of brave family members and a few dear and dedicated friends traveled to town to celebrate the formal retirement ceremony and festivities of the soldier who has dedicated 20 years of his life to selflessly serving our country.
We got Covid tested together. (Call it 2020 hospitality.)
We enjoyed an outdoor Thanksgiving dinner together. (Thank you, Superhero 1, for preparing exactly 99.2 percent of it so that we could indeed dupe the aunts and uncles we haven’t seen for a decade into believing that this mama can cook.)
We honored the fallen and celebrated Veterans Day together. (Take that, Hurricane Eta. You might cancel s’mores and jumpy houses, but you can’t cancel a soldier’s love for country.)
We savored what Super-Spouse and I think is the very best time we’ve ever had with family all together.
And on Tuesday, we together watched the man that all of us so dearly love as he accepted his flag, gave a final salute and concluded 20 years of military life with a formal ceremony at an outdoor brewery.
(Because when the military museum cancels all events for the year and you want an outdoor venue during Covid, you simply beg your sweet friends who own a brewery to allow you to be the first retirement ceremony held in a place where people drink beer. And then thank Jesus when your husband’s coworkers and dearest friends load up an entire truck full of flags, televisions and furniture stolen from higher up offices to magically turn an outdoor pavilion into a posh retirement venue.)
As I listened to Superhero 1 play the National Anthem (watch on the FB page HERE) and watched Super-Spouse stand on that stage in uniform for the very last time, I was simultaneously overcome by 500 emotions I couldn’t describe.
But as I observed the beautiful family seated around us and stared at that soldier I can’t even believe God gave me the privilege of marrying, the biggest one was GRATITUDE.
This beautiful, brutiful life isn’t the one I would have chosen had I seen it in movie form when I spotted that unbelievably attractive soldier at World Gym at age 18.
The truth is, through the trials and triumphs, it’s been SO. MUCH. BETTER.
Because this military life has grown me in ways I would have never expected.
It’s taught me the value of service and sacrifice, and it’s fostered in our entire team a sense of gratitude that seems impossible when you can’t recognize how blessed you really are in this life.
Most importantly, it’s taught me that, though Super-Spouse might be my bestie, only JESUS CHRIST can be my rock.
After the cake was cut (appropriately, by the “work spouses” who have been the best of battle buddies in this military life) and the gifts were given (the most beautiful wood carving of Super-Spouse’s unit insignia and the leather doctor’s bag he has been dreaming about for decades) and walking taco bars were packaged and put up for the night, Super-Spouse then surprised me with a little gift of my own.
Roses, a card and a certificate for a new wedding ring … one to represent this new chapter of our married lives.
Just 😭😭😭.
Super-Spouse, I don’t know why God in His crazy grace allowed this hot mess to get to be married to you, but I am eternally grateful.
For you.
For this military life.
For this great and grand adventure we get the privilege of leading hand in hand with Him.
What a beautiful WEEK.
What a beautiful LIFE.
I can’t wait to spend the rest of forever on the same continent and in the same house with you.
*** Note to Super-Spouse’s real-life friends and family: We have a recording of the ceremony and the video tribute that celebrates Super-Spouse’s 20 years of military life. Please text me if you would like the link to either.***